Dard-E-Dil....
Maein Saans Leta Hoon..Teri Khushboo Aati Hai
Ek Mehka Mehka Sa..Paigaam Laati Hai
Meri Dil Ki Dhadkan Bhi..Tere Geet Gaati Hai
Pal Pal Dil Ke Paas Tum Rehti Ho
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Hath Zakhmi Hue To Kuch Apni Hi Khata Thi,
Aey Dost
Lakeeron Ko Mitana Chaha Kisi Ko Paany K Liye.
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Mohabbat Hai K Nafrat Hai,
Koi Itna Tou Samjhaye
Kabhi Main Dil Se Ladti Hon
Kabhi Dil Mujh Se Ladta Hai…!!
BAATEIN SARDARJI KI
Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have colour TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to
fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
Our Sardarji was filling up an application form for
a job. He
promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS
etc.
Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He
was not sure
as to what to be filled there. After much thought
he wrote :Yes
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you
bring me a pair of
crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and
disappears. Finally a
search
is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and
watch him killing
a
huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and
angrily exclaims "71st
and
*again* barefoot!"
A Sardar goes into a store and sees a shining
object. He asks the
clerk,
"What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies,
"That is a thermos
flask."
The Sardar then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it
keeps cold things
cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new
thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that
shiny object with
you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it
home somewhere
in
Punjab, but two days later disconnected it because
he was getting
complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling
mistakes !!
What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional
white sheet of
paper?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom
fighters. They were
planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a
point, "Oh..we'll get
Punjab
from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta
Singh replied,
"No
problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and
then we would be
a
state of USA and we'll automatically get developed."
All the surds
became happy at this very simple solution but an old
surd did not
utter a
single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The surd replied,
"OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY
CHANCE WE TAKE
OVER USA ?????"
Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a
bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the
salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his
hair style,
and returned to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a
complete
disguise this time, haircut and new hair colour, new
outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days
before he
again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a
Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Why did 18 Sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade
at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands
tightly over his
ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.
What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning
storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
